low maintenance friendships
It’s true when they say you’ll have fewer friends and less time with friends after college. I think we have been taking for granted the friendships we’ve established in high school because of this very fact. We’ve normalized drifting apart as a synonym for growth when it’s not always the case.
In my graduation letter to my friend 🪻, I told her that I want to hang out with her more often. We’ve been friends since high school. And among the rest of my batchmates, she was the only one I attended the same university with. Despite this, we’ve only met up on campus once in our four years of education.
I have been too comfortable with the idea that meeting and having new friends is such a common occurrence that everyone will eventually go through. By last year, only she and 🧦 were the only close friends I’ve retained from high school.
I admit, seeing them with new friends who are closer to them in proximity and frequency encouraged my distance. But that’s the toxic kind of thinking that further draws friendships apart. I, too, met new friends. And it is only after college that I truly realize how important having multiple friendships is.
Once taking pride in it, I no longer believe in low-maintenance friendships. I don’t think I want to invest energy in people you’ll only see once a year — or in special occasions like weddings and funerals. I want to have fewer but well-nurtured relationships. The kind that are updated with my current crushes, about how my grocery bag spilled open, and know my furbaby’s latest obsession. Above all, I want to have something to talk about other than high school — the last time we ever truly were friends.
I want to meet them — over and over again — to see every iteration of themselves. Every new hair color, every new phase, new job, new partner, new personality, new beginnings. I want to be there as much as I want them to know and love the different people I transform into as I grow older.
Finding a schedule that fits everyone may be hard, but it’s important to show up when you do.
Yesterday 🪻 and 🧦 organized a picnic at a park near our houses to see each other before the year ends. We bought snacks from a nearby 7-Eleven and stayed at the park for five hours, until past sundown.
We still talk about high school oftentimes, something that I don’t particularly hate but would love to eventually lessen, but we also talked about our futures and our hopes and plans moving forward. 🪻 recently passed the nursing licensure exam. 🧦 just had her final exams in uni and is now preparing to become a certified public accountant.
I love how we’re in different phases of our lives, but still chose and took the time to have a picnic a day before the year ends.
I love my friends so much.