subject by azer
at that time of the day when the sun hides away and let the moon take its place, i know i’m on my own again. i crawled to my bed and frightfully covered myself with a blanket. monsters? ghosts? they all exist. i know they will all come and get me. it’s night. it’s their time. my mother told me that it was just anxiety. that i was just imagining things that would never happen. but no, i know for myself that they are all real and one day.. they will hurt me. i grabbed what’s at the top of my side table and did what i had to do.
it was morning, the sun was back and at its own position again. i felt the coldness in my other half. i felt the loneliness in my soul. i felt the emptiness in my heart. and most of all, i felt the pain on my wrist as cold, hard blood covered it. i did it. i did it again. i cut my own flesh. i let out the monster in me before it could take over. monsters are real. i, myself, am an epitome of it. ghosts are real. it was the old me.
my mother said it was just anxiety. but no, i know for myself that i am real and one day.. i’m gonna hurt myself.