red,
hear me out. i’ve been trying to convince myself and my friends that i’m over you for the longest time. you have to believe me when i say that i’ve claimed it countless times that your name no longer exists in my map. but i think that is the very problem.
you see, i’ve realized now that your name will always be with me. and i will always remember you as the boy i first loved even when i was too young to even know what love is. i see my admiration to you as a white scar. pure, without malice, and young — yet it left a mark.
i cannot say you are a perfect experience. i think you’ve given me lots of frustrations as well as things to think about. you made me stay up at night frequently . then again, i see you in my dreams more often than i see you in person.
this letter might never reach you but i want to say thank you for making me feel all those strange emotions. they made me grow as a person. they taught me a lot of things.
i learned that love, no matter if it’s returned or not, can still be called love. a person can hold it in their heart and keep it with them, letting it grow and develop on itself. it doesn’t have to reach the other person. it’s okay to love someone from afar.
i learned that love is a process. it doesn’t stop when you realize you feel it for one person. it glides, it morphs, it evolves. whether it turns out badly or good, i learned that one should be thankful for experiencing it in the first place.
this world can be dark at some point. loving someone can actually be a brave thing to do. and you’re lucky if you find yourself someone, other than yourselfe, to love.
and somehow, you saved me from my own demons. i want to thank you for that. i wish you all the best things in life; for your health, your family, your academics, your career, and your happiness. i will always be proud of you for everything you’ve become and everything you will be. thank you for the opportunity you gave me to love you.
until we meet again.